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Discussion Wall Archives, ending March 19, 2006

rose 15 march 2006
15 March '06
Rose

I am another person new to this site, but far from new to this disease. I found your website while looking for a site that addresses FM/CFS and suicide. That little square wall to click on intrigued me because I feel like I have hit a wall and have been flattened for the final time. Other sites I encountered years ago when first diganosed, discouraged the subject of suicide. They wanted to keep things upbeat I guess. So when I went hunting tonight, I was looking to see if anyone dared to discuss it without being banished into the black holes of the web. I cannot stomach the telling of my story of losses; besides, they are basically the same as everyone else's. I am just so tired of living in fear of being homeless. I read a piece in the paper last night about a woman who has a disability and lost her home and insurance because all she was receiving in assitance was less than $600/month. She talked about how hard it was to leave the shelter each day when they locked up until the evening. I can't believe this is happening in the 21st century that we are all that vulnerable. Today I had to negotiate with the oil company to get some heating oil. Tomorrow I will have to do the same thing with the electric and the phone. And last week I was informed that my disability case may take another several months to get a hearing on the appeal of the third denial. Ten years ago I had a successful business, with a very healthy income. Today, being able to bathe and prepare a meal for myself is a monumental accomplishment. It keeps taking longer to get help and results in discouragment. Anyone identify with hitting a wall like this and rising up again? Thanks for listening

July, on March 15
Lots of new people here, so I just want to restate: Pace yourself. I was diagnosed 20 years ago and the first couple of years were really hard. But if you take care of yourself and don't push too hard, you will get back some of your strength and stamina. Every time you run yourself to the absolute end of your energy limits, you have to wait to get back. So pay attention and stop before you drop.

Someone here recommended that around the house you turn on the television, watch the show, and get up and get busy during the commercial. Then sit down and watch until the next commercial. That gives you five-minute bursts of activity and 10 minutes of rest, and works very well. Eventually you get better. I had YEARS of much, much better. Then I relapsed a couple of years ago, but this weekend, I dug a new garden bed and scraped paint off the garage, along with feeding the guys and going to the store. It's possible. Don't give up! HUGS to all.

Barb(Pa) 3/15/2006
Good Morning FMily, Finally I'm home again until Friday morning,then its off to Ky.Got home yesterday to find a squirrel has gotten into my roof and has been pulling out insulation. Golly what next ???? Gonna get the contractor here to close up the new sofit on the addition and hope it keeps the bugger out.I hope to get started on the remaining construction work the next time I get home,the weather should be getting better by then.

July I agree with you about not getting totally run down,I rest alot in the truck(I have a comforable bed) or I could never do the job I do.

Welcome newbies,glad you found us,but sorry you needed to.

Rose,I can relate all to well with what you are saying. If it wasn't for my husband marrying me when he did(after I got RSD and Fibro) I would most likely be in dire straits by now too. Keep looking up.

Richard,it just never ends for you does it? I'm happy to hear your son is ok; Cars can be replaced,but not lives.

Gotta go finish my laundry,will check back later.

Doris 3/15/06
Good morning everyone! Wow, it's amazing to see so many new people coming to the Wall. But it's great that they have found this warm and wonderful place also. I would like to welcome all the new names and hope you all find some good advice,comforting words,and just a warm welcome knowing that there are so many others that share your pain and problems. We all learn to deal with them in our own ways. For some, it is easier and for others, it is a struggle. That's why we are here: To help advise those who struggle on a daily basis and to lend an ear when you need to vent as we all sometimes do. But it's not all about being sick and in pain......we joke and have some fun too just like everyone else. We are like a second family here. You will find some of the sweetest people here you could ever wish to meet. So welcome all and please feel right at home.

Today is my sweet guy's birthday! I am gonna make him a terrific dinner tonite. Also I am gonna make him a cake today BUT he doesn't know that! Surprise! He had to work as usual though. I have to go grocery shopping in awhile to pick up a few things that I need. Hope you all are doing good and having painfree days....yeah right! Well take care all and God bless til next time I post. Smiles and hugs for all!!!

Richard in Tucson March 15, 06
Good Wednesday Morning to you all:
I am feeling a little better today, because I know my son is OK, and the Insurance claim is processed. I still have to pay for the towing and my son still has to go to court next month, but we have time.
Barb(Pa): I am sorry I didn't respond to your last post. We will have that coffee someday. My life is in too much kaos now, no it never seems to end. I would rather take all I take, while I'm still living, than the alternative. Yes cars can be replaced. The tuff part is it had only liability, we don't have enough $ now to replace it. We will probably have to drive our son to work for quite a while.
Welcome to all the Newbies, it is good to hear from you, Keep coming back.
Lee Ann: Now that is a pretty name. I am glad for your envy, my energy is not consistant, I burn out easily. Things like my son's accident do make my life so difficult. Thanks for the Hugs & the info about Feldene.

I have to go get a shower and drive my Daughter to her friends house accross town. I will hopfully post tomorrow. Until then Genle Hugs & may God bless you all. Love Richard in Tucson...

Lee Ann (packrat/MI) 03/15/06
Good morning all! Thank you all for being there to listen. I am one newbie that is really glad to know that someone is in my corner. I am a little upset today because I found out that someone I had depended on to do something for me bailed so now the problem is back on me. I know that it can be very discouraging to have to depend on others and not be able to do for one's self. Oh well, life goes on and I will find a way to solve this problem also. I am really happy that I have found people who are willing to talk about all subjects, including suicide. I too found that other sites wanted to just talk fluff. When you are in that state of mind you want some to listen to what you are saying and feeling. We all need to have that hand up once in a while and discouragement, pain and even thoughts of suicide are something we have to deal with everyday. I deal with fear all the time also and it isn't easy. Richard: thanks for the compliment on my name. Hugs to you for dealing with so much chaos. I hope you are taking care of your needs also.

Rose 15 March '06
Thanks to the well-wishers. My darkest times are sleepless nights and early morning hours. Seems you folks are morning people. I never really learned what "pace yourself" meant until I got sick with FM/CFS. I have always been a mover and shaker motivating others. Pacing for me is about saying no to others as well as myself. In September I did not heed that wisdom and tore tissue in my "good" knee. I thought I could heal myself but by December I surrendered to surgery. Doc says the knee should really be replaced but "we will try to keep it working until you are 60-ish". I just turned 56. My primary care doc says a lot of her FM patients fall frequently. She doesn't know why. Nor does she know why things drop out of my hands as if the circuit just failed. At least I am glad she and my neurologist theorize that the problem is in the brain. In the meantime, I try to keep my brain working, reading and writing and researching the internet. I am a fan of journal writing. This feels similar except for the treat of having someone address me by name and respond to my entry. That is a new feeling. I trust that has made a difference for all of you, especially since you seem to know one another well. Seems you all keep coming back. I guess this entry means I have too. Hmmmm.. Thanks. R.

Judy/Illinois 3/15
Judy/Illinois 3/15 Since I've found this site, I have been keeping tabs on the posts and I just want to comment on how great you all are to rally round those in need. I'm very happy to have come across the Wall and to be able to participate, too. You all just give me the warm fuzzies! Before being diagnosed recently I thought I was just really getting to be a panty-waste and pretty doggone lazy. But I see from the posts on here that it's all as much normal as normal can get for fibro people I guess. To find a place where there are people like me, with problems exactly like mine, makes me feel sooo much better! I haven't been able to clean this place properly for ages and I've felt so guilty for that and for the laundry piling up and never finding the bottom of it! In the midst of this flareup I just really haven't been able, but that hasn't stopped the guilty feelings from cropping up. My husband is great about it all and says to not worry about it, that one day I'll be able to do it again. I hope he's right! Thanks for helping to at least feel sane again everyone! You're delightful! Hugs, Judy

Richard in Tucson 3/15/06
My wife e-mailed this to me I wanted to share it here on the wall, Gentle hugs from Richard in Tucson.. IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying from cancer). I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's" More "I'm sorry's." But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!! Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to pro mote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you have a blessed day.!


casey in IL Mar. 15
oh Richard, what a wonderful thing for us all to read. we do spend so much time being guilty about what we cannot do anymore! warm and gentle fibor hugs from casey in IL

Judy/Illinois
Judy/Illinois 3/15 Here's an anonymous quote I ran across and would like to share with you all. I found it good advice and claimed it for myself and quite possibly, you will be able to claim it for yourselves, too..........
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".
It somehow really spoke to me right when I needed it. Tomorrow I'll try again to clean this place! Tomorrow I'll try again to find the bottom of the pile of laundry! Tomorrow I will try to rid myself of guilt for not being able to do the things most women my age can do! We just have to keep on keeping on ~ one day at a time. And Richard, I agree with Casey....I love the piece you shared with us. It really puts things in perspective! Thanks for sharing!!!

Sherri 2/15/06 10 : 00 pm pacific time
Hi FMly...I have to spill a few things to you all here because I feel I can trust you all. I need the support and not the judgment that I would possibly get with someone who doesn't understand how our bodies work... First, to update you all newbies briefly, my husband recently lost his job, hence we lost our medical insurance and our ability for me to afford to go to the doc. and to buy any of my meds... I have been working at my part time, easy-going, library job almost full time for the last few weeks to make up for the money loss. In the interim, my job duties have unexpectidly increases and gotten more and more physical making it 10xs more demanding on me than it use to be. I use to put books on shelves and check in books, talk to library patrons, etc. Now, I have to physically dissasemble mobile staging and rearrange community room chairs, push a $100,000 dollar grand piano across a huge confrence room with only one helper, etc, etc.... All new tasks for my position since our library recently moved into a much larger facility last January. When I get there for my shift and find out that I have to move the stage or the piano it takes EVERYTHING in me to keep from crying in front of my supervisor and coworkers...
I have no options right now as far as finding a different job since my hubby still has not foun anything solid for work for him. (We have not relied on my income in over 14 years for our survival...)
Anyway, here's the hard part (for me), because of circumstances and because of my physical difficulties and condition, over the past year or so, I have gotten some of my medications from more than one doctor at a time. Ouch! There, it's out in the open. One doctor gives me my Tramadol @ a rate of 4 per day - another gives me 4 - 6 per day. I NEED at least 8 to 10 per day just to get through the day and all that I need to do in each day.
Dilema - I am now in a position to not be able to afford EITHER doctor OR medications. I tried to ween off the Tramadol for the last two weeks and I haven't taken any since Sunday 3/12 and I feel like C R A P.
I have this overwhelming conviction to talk honestly with one of my doctors and tell him what I have been doing and the amounts I have been needing, but I am afraid that he will then cut me off entirely. I guess I can s u r v i v e without the drugs, but I feel SO much better with them. Call me an addict, call me a junkie, I DON'T CARE. I just know my body. But really, I would LOVE to get to a place where I could bear life with just holistic, natural remedies.
I hope I have made myself clear in my dilema here. There's so much to tell, but I don't want to overwhelm you all (esp. the newbies) by going on and on. If anyone wants to e-mail me directly, I am open to the-one-on one conversation and advice.
FYI I just feel like crying all the time, and I've been doubling up on my Fioricette to curb the withdrawls. This all sucks so much. ...
HELP HELP HELP....ANY advice? Any words of encouragement or prayers? I am wide open..... Thank you E V E R Y O N E! <>< Is anyone awake to reply to me tonight?////// :-(

blue eyes

blue eyes 3/15 (Pacific time)
Sherri, I'm a newbie here but not to fibro. Sorry about all that is happening. Have you talked with your pharmacist? He could direct you to some pharmaceutical conmpanies that could help you get your meds until your financial position improves. See what you can find out and let us know.

blue eyes in WA 3/15
Also sherri, talk with your doctor about everything--whichever one is the most understanding--maybe he can help with drug samples. What symptoms do you take this med for? It is one that I don't believe I ever used. If so. it didn't help. Maybe there is a newer drug that what be more effective in lesser quantites. I agree with you that I would totally like to be able to deal with fibro w/alternative and naturalpathic meds. At one time I was on so many different things it was hard to function at all. I finally found an osteopathic md who helped me get down to the basics. I started taking cymbalta last March and have had good results. I still have to pace myself but I am finding that I can do more. My next step is to start a regular exercise program. You take care and I will keep you in my prayers.

Kim Paluch 16 March06
Kim here and it's Wednesday in March, don't know the date ...16 maybe? Hi everyone!Iknow it's been ages, but I'm back. I've just been very very busy! I have my hand in a few cookie jars and am hoping to make some money. We could use it. But I haven't been doing all I could since I've been sick and in a tremendously awesome flare-up for going on 6 months. Or else my non-flareup days are just going from worse to egads! I read a bit and wanted to wave hello to anyone who remembers me and those who don't. I'm trying new medicine and old medicine and finding that nothing is helping so I'm trying more yoga, lots of prayers, and toxin free household products. No improvement in my symptoms of FM, but my asthma no longer keeps me from cleaning (its the fibro that does that now), I'm more mellow when normally I'd like to scream in pain, and my hubby told me that groaning "stop this pain" loud enough to wake him does not constitute a prayer. But he hugs me anyway. : ) So all is about as well as can be expected. Our three Ts (two teens and the toddler) keep us jumping, and running, and cringing. The toddler is the worst, as he is fearless and climbs and jumps and such like he's a monkey . . . or a snow leopard. My pain is different but not better, so the doctor and I are working on it, and though my friends are encouraging me in my efforts to work from home, the people who are paid to give me the support and help I need to try to get off disability are shaming me and telling me I'm not worth their time because there are others they feel they can help who are worth more. It's a good thing for me that we've raised good teens. Our girl told me the workers were just too stupid to realize I am a good worker at what I CAN do and if they can't see that she wants to help me show them I can make it without them better than I could with their help and support. Our 17 year old just says he's got my back. And right now I could just cry for these kids who love and support me no matter what, even when they're mad (chores and such). Now that's unconditional love. And from teenagers! The toddler just says I'm his best mommy and wants more mommy time cuz I'm cool. So in spite of the pain, I realized just now that I'm having a great day and I'm hoping all of you are able to find the reason you're having a better day than you thought. Thank you for listening and I am keeping all of you in my thoughts. Have peaceful days and nights and know none of us are alone. Kim

Richard in Tucson March 16,
Good Thursday Mornig; I'm going to be short because I have too much to do & not enough energy to do it.
Welcome back our old friends and welcome to the Newbies. I was glad to read that some of you liked my post yesterday about, (IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck) I am so thankful for the little things that I can do, also the little things that are so special in my life, our children so dear & fragil. Our Son escaped death the other night, thanks to him wearing his seat belt. The police said him and his 2 friends would not be alive if not for their seat belts. I am so thankful. They were in a convertable and lost control & the car ended up up side down.
May God bless all of you, and keep you well & create peace and pain free times in your lives. Well I have to get Nicole bathed so we can get started on getting ready to go to her Grand Parents house. Take care Gentle Hugs from Richard in Tucson...

Coco
I am experimenting with meditation for relief of pain, and for honoring the possibility of self-control of my body. Are there any success stories out there?

mymichelina 3/16/06
I have been a part of this Wall for over a year now. I do not post often but read almost daily. I have come to believe that a person or people posting here are not actually suffering but are just fishing for information. Those people know exactly who they are....you post under different names....just to get more information. I am disgusted and disappointed that some people would USE us in that way. My fellow true fibro friends, read over posts and you will see it too. I am angry and hurt because now I feel violated and will no longer be able to trust what I read here unless by long timers. I just had to post this...this disease is painful enough as it is, we don't need people on here posting to get info for a book or movie on the Medical problems in America. Please stop.

Jaime 3/17
Richard, thank goodness your son wasn't killed. Did your son or any of his friends get hurt at all?

For things going on here, earlier today I had to go to the ER due to a food allergy to imitation crab meat. Never had a food allergy before in all my life. My throat was getting tight, and was just a plain mess. Tried Benadryl and Predisone before I was taken in to the hospital. Not much else going on.

Sherri 3/16/06
Well, I spoke with my doctor - openly - and he is going to try to get me on some kind of program where I can get Lyrica for free (or low cost). Other than that, that's about all he's going to do for me. I'm not terribly thrilled about that because I stopped taking the Lyrica anyway (if you go back, you will see in my posts that it made me very loopy and exhausted the next day - all side effects that supposedly whear off over time...) Anyway, we'll see. Also, today I found a low-cost clinic where I can get in to see a Dr. for $35 and possibly get my meds for less.
Those of you who pray, please pray for me because one of the problems I am having (on top of everything else) is some strange symptoms relating to female issues that are very similar to cancerous symptoms... I have ignored the symptoms for a long time because they come and go, and I KNOW that I don't have any sort of infection (my husband of 20 years and I are faithful to each other in every way - emotionally and physically). This clinic will help me with that too, so I'm getting the whole work up tomorrow, please keep a good thought for me.
It looks like My hubby may have some work starting next week too. !!!!!!!
That's a very good thing.
I know I am fairly new to the wall, but I tend to take things personally, were you thinking of me...whoever said that someone was fishing for book or movie information? I am a little confused about that.
I am only here because I enjoy the support and reading the posts from people so similar to me.
The post I put up the other day, did any one hear the part where I said 'HELP'?
Just curious. I kinda thought I would have had more personal advice, or encouraging words....
It's cool though. I know we're all busy and all hurting. I have just truely been quite as low as I am right now (this week). I cry EVERY day and that is just not me, but I don't want to go on anti-depressants. Does St. Jons Wart work for anyone out there? I want to try to stay natural if I can...
Anyway, thanks for listining....
blessings <><

Sherri 3/16/06
P.S dont forget to wear GREEN Friday!
Happy St. Patty's day!

Doris 3/17/06
Hi all. Just a short post today. I have my grandson til Sunday...hope I can handle it. Of course he is only 2 1/2 months old but still takes alot out of a person. He went to sleep last night at 10 and slept til 4 this morning. I found that to be pretty good for his age. He is napping now also. He also took a nap earlier and so did I in my recliner...hey if you can't beat 'em,join 'em,right? LOL. I am gonna rest when he rest. That way I can hold out til Sun. We do what we have to do. Not gonna do much except watch him basically cause my house is all cleaned up pretty good for now. I do have some laundry to do but Jason will help me with that this weekend. He is always so good about that. Hope you all take care and try to rest and have a good weekend and little pain. Good luck to those who are having all the problems with meds and drs. God bless you all. Big hugs and warm thoughts to each of you. Bonnie,GET WELL SOON!!!!!! MISS YOU HERE!

Richard in Tucson St. Patty's Day
Happy St. Patty's day! To all here:
I hope everyone has a wonderful day, I have to go help my dad paint @ my parent's Preschool, we are painting a wall that we started & couldn't finnish last Friday.
Jamie:No one was injured badly, except that one of my son's friends got a cut on his hand, that required three stiches, from the broken glass. Other than being shaken up a bit they were all fine, considering how the car looked, it is amazing they came out of the accident as well as they did.
Welcome to the Newbies, you have found a place of great refuge & support, keep coming back.
mymichelina: I think that you have the right to feel the way you do, but please consider that maybe some of these people are looking for help for a friend or loved one, this wall is designed for that use as well. You never know maybe one of these people will figure out a treatment that will help us in some way. Or maybe they are a good Physician trying to research what work for their patients.
Sherri:If you are not taking the Lyrica why bother with the program your Dr. is offering. I am on Lyrica, yes it is expensive. I have noticed when I take it I have more energy. I do not intend to take it for ever though, I'm sure there are side effects, but for now it helps me, I get strange dreams when I take it @ night before bed. I'm on 300mg per day. I will pray for you, & I hope things get better for you.
I have to go get ready to leave for the day, Please have a wonderful day & know that I am here for you all, most of the time Gentle Hugs from Richard in Tucson...

Coco from the West
Coco from the West March 17th, 2006 I left a message on the board yesterday, asking for information regarding meditation and its possibilities for helping with FM. Today, I can't figure out how to get back on the Wall without leaving another message. So, here it is. Is this how it works, or can I go straight to the Wall without leaving a massage?

leslie 03/17/06
Hi, all, I'm not entirely new but I have only been reading for a few months. It has been really helpful to find references to physical things that I couldn't know for sure were related to fms until I saw that other people were experincing them too. I was diagnosed a little less than a year ago, first with mps and then with fms and while I've done a lot of research there is no substitute for hearing (reading, rather) from other people with this problem. I am actually really lucky in that my symptoms are relatively "mild" and, with a change of jobs in January, I have been able to remain employed in my field (food service management) or close enough to it. Today is my first really bad day in a while. I had to leave work early and am now trying to be comfortable enough to re-charge and go back to work tomorrow. I have no insurance and because I switched jobs after I was diagnosed it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to get insurance to cover anything related to my fibromyalgia. I am still paying off diagnostic and physical therapy bills that basically did nothing but legitamise my diagnosis. I take 800 mg of ibu every 6 hours and 30 mg of amitriptyl at night but lately this is not working as well as it did at the onset. (Surprise, surprise...) I am wondering about any success with other otc drugs that anyone has had. Also aboutany other cheap therapy that has had even short-term positive repercussions. I went to a concert last night because my son is a cello performance major here in his junior year but I barely made it through because I was having so much trouble getting comfortable. (Numb arms, etc.) Even at intermission, I felt awkward because my husband, who has knee problems, had to help me up the stairs. I know these complaints are not new to most of the people here but I do wonder how everyone deals with them. I do not want to keep missing my son's concerts because I hurt too much to sit in the audience. At the same time, I know it embarrases him to have me gimping up and down the aisles and leaning on the bannisters. He has been great about this but since, formerly, I was a very able person I can tell that he is having difficulty seeing me as, in a sense, disabled.

Becky
Leslie ..... take it from experience .... he would rather see you "gimping up and down the aisles, and holding onto the bannisters" than not at all.


Dee on Saturday March 18

Coco...you must have saved the posting page to your favorites instead of the Wall. Anyway, here's the URL for just the Wall: http://fmpsc.org/wall/discussion.html
Hope this helps ya and welcome to the Wall.....Dee

P.S...Getting ready for a baby shower for my second Great Grandson. I'm so excited!!!

Rose 18 March 2006
I am moved by the courage people have posting on the Wall. There is so much value in having someone respond directly to our messages. Likewise, there is an empty feeling when the message seems to go unnoticed. But, we all are pacing ourselves knowing that energy is so limited. I know I can only sit at the computer just so long before the pain starts screaming at me. I logged on for the first time last week, when I was suicidal. Just writing in the middle of the night helped me move through those feelings. I am grateful for the gentle reminders of the responders, who are all too familiar with that state of mind. I also am unaware of any postings that are insincere or suspicious. I trust that the moderators of this site are always keeping an eye out for us. I would like to respond to the issue of pain management and what I have learned. My neurologist has advised me to have options of excercise, so if I cannot do cardio-vascular activity due to discomfort( which is very common), there is another kind of movement that is tolerable, like moving in the bath tub. Pilates or isometrics can actually help with the pain. Sometimes pain meds actually make movement tolerable. However, last night I surrendered to the pain and took the narcotic as prescribed and was able to sleep. I take Neurontin regularly to manage the pain. My neurologist encourages it. My primary care doctor hates the drug. She prescribed the Oxycontin. I tell them both about the Rx's. I leave it up to ME to assess my pain and how to respond for relief. It is a daily routine I am invested in, deciding how I am and what I need and how to respond to my needs. That is how I am responsible for my own wellbeing. I reassess it throughout the day. The few people I involve in my life these days, know that this is how I live. They know that I could cancel out on events or ask for assistance when I just can't show up for life any given day. I also try to keep some source of humor in each day, whether it is laughing at myself when I look in the mirror, or laughing at my husband and our family of critters. We enjoy the New Yorker cartoons. They have a way of depicting the dilemmas of life that provoke a grunt, moan or outright laughter. I try not to take myself so seriously. I am a mere human with plenty of limitations. I relate to the person (sorry, I forgot your name.) who thinks her son is embarrassed by her gait. I hate going shopping with my hsuband because he is so impatient with how slow I am. I think he hates the cane I have to use these days. But we try to make jokes out of it on good days. A good day is when I don't take it all so personally.I threaten him with my cane and tell him it is a James Bond weapon in disguise and not to mess with me! Enough for now, since this is turning into a disertation!! Sorry and thanks.

Diana 3/18/06
It's crazy how much one can miss while gone!
I had a very serious reaction to Ambien prescribed by my PCP after falling in the driveway & then another day I slipped on ice. My PCP gave me only 10 pills to get me thru the crisis pain so that my sleep pattern would not get all out of sorts. Well, unknown to me at the time, I really wasn't sleeping while I was taking them. Then when I finished the course, I REALLY couldn't sleep at all!!! My low back pain eased up but the tension from not sleeping flared my neck into spasm & migraine. I didn't sleep for 5 days & 4 nights, I was nauseous, not eating or drinking, & all the "other plumbings" shut down. I slowly lost my mind literally & was unable to do anything to help myself. My husband, bless his heart, did not recognize my condition, & I couldn't seem to verbalize anything but anger & frustration at him, which only served to push him away more. My counselor was the only one who stood by me & patiently guided me back to reality,that was on Tues. She is my Angel of God & everyone needs to make sure they have one! The drug is now out of my system & I'm back to my normal sleeping pattern. I'm still recuperating with cat naps but atleast I have my mind back. It is a very scary feeling to know you're loosing your mind & you can't stop it! Sorry to end this without responding to others but it's time for another nap after reading all the posts I've missed. Welcome to all. May God's blessings be present in all our lives. Remember, no matter what your difficulties there is ALWAYS a way out, God's words NEVER return void! Lots of luvs & little hugs to everyone!


Barb(Pa) 3/18/2006
Hi FMily, Jaime,Found a website with info on somatization disorder and I think its not quite what you think it is. The Site is www.cfsdoc.org/somat.htm

Welcome newbies,glad you found this place.

Does anyone have a problem with extremely dry feet? This is becoming a real problem lately. I am in Ky tonight and will deliver Monday morning and then head to Louisville for the Mid America Truck Show,this is always a big even for us since our company is located there and they go all out for us this week.Gotta run for now. Fuzzy gentle hugs to all

Diana 3/18/06
Barb- just read your post. I use Bag Balm found in any local drug store, WalMart, etc. Rub it in at night & wear white socks, they'll be soft by the morning! It comes in a green tin square can. Good luck!

Lee Ann (packrat)03/18/06
Greetings to all! Barb- I have the problem with dry feet also. I have found that Eucerin Calming Creme helps. I also found that when my feet are especially dry that I may not have had enough water to drink. One problem I haven't been able to conquer is the burning sensation that I get in the soles of my feet. This drives me crazy sometimes. Hope this may help. I may be a newbie to the Wall but I am already treasuring the time I spend reading the postings. It is so comforting to know that others are in the same "battle" and that someone is listening and understanding. My family and friends have finally come to understand why it was that I would cancel plans or had to just wait to see how I felt that day to do anything. I know that it is hard on them but understanding is finally sunk in which helps alot. To the lady who thinks her son my be embarrassed, don't believe it. He is so happy to have you there no matter what struggles you may go through to get there. Just enjoy the time that you have with him as he will be growing up and moving on. The times you spend now with him will be treasured by you and him in the future. Warm thoughts and hugs to all. May God keep you close and ease your pain.

Sherri 3/18/06
Hang in there EVERYONE!
I'm not going to write much, I just want to drop a line and say 'hello' to all of you - my FMly.
I don't post every day but I do read every day and lift everyone up in prayer.
Hugs to you all! <><

Judy/Illinois Saturday, March 18th, 2006
Hi Barb and all who are discussing the dry feet problem. I agree with the Eucerin Calming Cream. I've used that for a year or so, whenever it first came out anyway. It's the only thing I've found that will help keep my feet soft and moist after only a few applications. And since you all are discussing skin here, I was about to write concerning my hands, elbows and a few other places on my body where I have skin conditions. Is this an effect of FMS? What do you do about it? The Calming Cream helps but it's hard to keep on my hands because I wash them so much. I don't know what kind of disorder it is but it ends up with hardened areas that sometimes breakout in itchy little blisters. If anyone has experience with this and anything that will help it, I'm game to try it.
Today it has been a beautiful "10" of a day here in Central Illinois! It helps my effort to keep my chin up and stay positive when the weather is like this! I hope wherever you all are that you had a "10" of a day too! God bless you one and all! Judy

Sherri 3/19/06 12:01 A.M.
Hi everyone, it's me again - Sherri. Regarding the dry skin topic...I have a terrible problem with dry, chapped lips all the time (as well as feet and all over in general.) For the feet and LIPS I use Euserin Moisturing Creme in the generic form from Wal Mart (because it's less expensive). It's called 'Equate dry skin Cream' in a short, white jar w/light blue label. Believe it or not, it's the best thing I've found for my lips! Even my kids use it for lips and feet, etc.. it is extremely gentle and unscented.
For dry skin everywhere else, I use various aromatherapy massage oils (particularly 'Lavender masaged oil' from Trader Joes) after a shower while I'm still wet. I put it all over (except for my face) and THEN dry off (blot off the water) and my skin is left feeling moist but not greasy.
Hope that helps!
True Blessings! God is good!
Sherri

Sherri 3/19/06
I meant to say "Eucerin" not Euserin - sorry!

Jaime 3/19
Hi everyone,

What a week this has been. Dealing with the sexual assault issues with a counselor and my therapist. Dealing with a lot of anger this past week. Plus found out early in the week my 2 year old little cousin was found in the median strip of the highway. Luckily, by a miracle from God he was okay just some scrapes. The father who is my first cousin was at work, and his wife wasn't watching him which is usual for her. She never cares for her kids. Anyway, been really angry with my cousin's wife, she was arrested, and can't see the kids until the trial. She may have jail time for it too.

Anyway, it's been a rough week, lost some sleep. Pain levels are increasing. Hopefully this week will be better.

Doris 3/19/06
Hello family.....good day to you all. I am so tired BUT it was worth it. Now I can relax some. I had my grandson for a couple of days AND I wasn't sure I could do it but by the Grace of God I pulled it off. He is only 2 1/2 months old and he is a lil fussy now cause he has some bowel problems...poor baby! But Mema hung in there with him. He actually slept all night long so the nights were good. Plus Jason helped me over the weekend. I am telling you that I DON'T want to go thru raising another one......NO WAY,NO HOW !!!!!! But I love the lil guy and I love sending him back to mama cause I am just not able to do it anymore. It got the best of me. It will take me all week to get over keeping him. My whole body is sore and achy. But I just had to try it and see. Now I know.

Well I know that some of the newbies made a good point on here. God will help us survive what we must endure. He doesn't answer us on our time but HIS time......remember that! I know HE always comes thru for me. I have been so low and he always brought me back up. Somehow he always makes a way or provides an answer.I am like all of you, I go to my drs. but I know that I have faith in a much powerful DR. who CAN heal anything! So if you ever get that low, just remember that GOD cares for you and YOU can always go to HIM when you can't talk to anyone else. HE is always listening. So on that note, take care all and God bless. Hugs to you all and smiles to brighten your days!!!!