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Discussion Wall Archives, ending March 9, 2005

Doris/NC 3/1/06
Good morning all and Happy March 1st!!!! Jodie dear, would you do me a small favor? Would you please type in small case as for some reason the larger case letters seem to bother me. I would appreciate it so much! My restless legs are on and off. Some days are better,I think the Lyrica is actually helping now. My hips(thighs) are both bothering me now and the right one is the worse and I am wondering if I have the fibro there too. I am gonna make an appt. soon to see my dr. and have them checked, maybe he will do some x-rays. I just don't get around as good as I used to. My upper arms ache alot too now from the fibro. I have learned that we are going to have to live with so much of this pain cause the dr. told me there is only so much that can be done for it. One of the best things to do is NOT focus on the pain. Easier said than done I agree. But the days I do get out I am always in pain somewhere BUT if we stayed in til we never had any pain, GEE we would NEVER get out again! Right? We can't stop living or doing things......I am not gonna give in to the pain YET!!!!!! There are days I have to stay home YES but when I can I try to get out some. I am NOT going to let fibro turn me into a recluse. I am gonna go as long as I am able to go. Pain or no pain! I still want some kind of a life here ya know. I do realize that some of you are sicker than me and I pray that you get better so you can get out and do things. I can only do a little myself but I just have to get out sometimes or I will really go crazy! I always overdo it when I go out with Mama cause I walk too much and when I get home,I am exhausted and hurting. I usually pay for those trips for about 2 days. I just rest up at home and take it easy again. Anyway God bless all of you and my best wishes for each one of you today. Take care and tender hugs and smiles just for you my special friends.

Richard in Tucson March 01, 2006
Good Wednesday Morning to all my friends here;
I am so behind on house work, my wife's cousin is coming over in about an hour, to help me clean our huge two story house. I have alot to do to get ready like putting away the folded clean clothes, about five baskets of them. I really need Her help, Gaby my wife's cousin that is. I get along great with her, she respects me and how I feel, I have to admit I have a slight attraction to her as well, oh well my day is not going to be boring at all.
Patti: I have wanted to say your welcome for responding the other day. I know what the basket case thing is all about. The last few afternoons this Fibro. has been Brutal on me. I fineshed putting the food away from dinner, and left the kitchen a mess, I went upstairs to bed for a rest and woke up @ 12:00am to get undressed and put on my CPAP mask so I could breath correctly through the night. In time you will be able to help others, first you need to help yourself, by continuing to come here like you started to and receive the help you need from the careing people @ this wall.
Celeste:I feel for you sleep problems have been the worst part of this whole illness for me. I have taken al types of pills to knock me out,after living with Insomnia for over six years I had a sleep study done & they determined I had moderate sleep apnea, I am finnaly starting to sleep better using my CPAP machine.
Sherrig:You look like a princess from Disneyland, the way you waved to me.
Barb(Pa):Thank you for your kind words as usual, It is a Jungle out there especially on highway 91 in the Riverside area. Do you stop @ Tripple "T" truck stop when you go through Tucson? Some time If you have time maybe we could have coffee when you come thru here. Good for you, that you treated yourself to the beaty salon, you need this to help make your self feel good. I know it helps me alot too.
Lisa-Michigan: Thank You for your "Combo" as well as your "Do Nots".
Diana I am glad to read about your going to Allentown College. My family had a Vacation home in Pa in the 1970"s near the town of Moscow & Gouldsbouroughs pretty close to Scranton. The experiences you had in Germany are so cool, I would love to here more, you don't bore mne. I have to go for now talk to you later Richard in Tucson...

Diana
What a great morning to be alive! That sounds funny coming out of one of "us!" I woke up feeling very good & decided to do my walk early so I could go visit my friend Larnada (La-na-da) She's very picky about not pronouncing the "r." I've been walking 10 laps around our back yard & feeling better each time, feeling like I could do more by the time I reach 10. So after a week of 10, today I decided to try 15. It was fantastic! Then I went to Larnada's & had a blast there, she is quite witty. Now I'm feeling rather woosey (sp?) sorrry vgf

Janice 3-1-06
Janice/Illinois--3/1/06 Hello Family,haven't posted in a very long time. I have been wracked with pain. It has been so severe I just curl up in a fetal position and cry. I am still struggling trying to find the right doctor who will prescribe pain meds. My current doctor will not. So if anyone in Illinois is reading this and has a doctor who will prescribe pain meds please email me and let me know. My curent doctor just has no compassion for people in pain. I have asked for a referal to a pain clinic and she won't. Most of my pain lately is in my hips and under my rib cage. But on the right side the pain is radiating into my right breast and shoulder. It is making me so weak somedays I can hardly get to the bathroom. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gentle hugs and pain free days to all.

Diana 3/2/06
Good morning! Sorry about my last post, I "fell out!" It's a rainy, cold day here in Jersey. I grew up in Southern Calif. where rainy days are few & I loved them! I've kept that same mentality throughout my life, so yes it's another great day to be alive! The fibro doesn't seem to be worse today but I have a lot on my plate today. My friend Larnada needed someone to come change her dressings today. Her mom usually does it but she doesn't like to drive in any weather & she's in her late 80's, so I figured I cut her a break. Then our church has a ladies' luncheon the first Thurs. of each month. I don't usually go but one of the ladies helping me out with meals invited me, & I still haven't learned to say no! So now I'm warming up my lower back in preperation for my walk, can't miss a day just because of a few sprinkles! Wish me luck! Talk to yall later! Take your sunshine with you if it's gloomy where you are! "When your smilin', when your smilin', the whole world smiles at you!" How true! Try it sometime! Love & prayers to all!

Richard in Tucson March 02, 2006
Good Thursday Morning to you all; I don't really have time to post much, I just have to say "Diana: You have a wonderful attitude & outlook on Life,"you will recover from this Dragon because of this. I wish I had that kind of positive energy.Glad to read you are helping your friend Larnada I hope all goes well with the weather & your Church Luncheon.
Today I go to my parents Preschool to do the Maintenance, that was not done last week due to the Disney trip. I pulled my back out trying to put something heavy in my truck, I also am having major indigestion today I feel too bad, but I must go smiling or I will be two weeks behind. I wish us all pain free days and nights, rest well & take care from Richard in Tucson...

Jaime 3-2-06
Hi all,

Hope you all are doing alright. With me, my rheumy started me on methotrexate for the psoratic arthritis. Also is having me take folic acid to help against any side effects of the methotrexate. My family doc isn't sure that they have found the correct diagnosis, and is sending me to a pain management doctor. The MRI and Xrays all go with the diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis. Between the pain of the arthritis, and the fibromyalgia, i've been miserable. At least the duragestic patch is helping a little bit. Although been having lots of breakthrough pain with the patch.

Starr in WV 3/2/06
Starr 3/2/06 Hi everyone. It has been quite sometime since I have posted. Today I got a mailing from the National Fibro Association. It contained two towelettes that are for pain - along with a letter that said this is the first pain stuff approved by the National Assn. You can get the towelettes or a spray. It said use it on an area that was hurting and after 20 minutes you could wash off the smell if you didn't like it but that wouldn't affect the pain relief. So I tried it. Let me tell you - that smell would scare off muggers and rapid dogs!! It made my eyes water. it has menthol and eucalyptus in it. Seemed like everywhere I put it, I felt I had been iced down. I'm very curious to see if anyone else got it and did it help. But if you do get it - be careful of that order, it is very powerful.

Also - I know some of you have taken Cymbalta. What's your take on it. My friend is taking it for depression now instead of Prozac.

For those of you who cannot get script pain meds, does it help if you take ibuprofen. If you get a script for it from the doctor, the pills are generally at 800 mgs. strength but the over the counter pills are 200 mgs so you need to take about 4 of them to get the script strength. I have a friend with fibro that does that and she says it works pretty good for her.

I just read a post, can't remember the name, about someone sleeping better with a cpap machine. I have one of those also and they do help. A lot of people with fibro have sleep apnea. I know with my machine, I sleep a deeper more restful sleep, plus, when you wake up you usually can go right back to sleep without having to go to the bathroom. I found out that frequent potty trips are a side effect of the sleep apnea. It has a name but I forget what it is.

Rest gently tonight everyone.

Jodie 03-02-06
03-02-06 Jodie

Starr in WV: The smelly stuff you are talking about is 024. They really work, but your right, the smell is horrible. My family won't let me put it on while they are around. I should be sleeping, even took a Lunesta, but this nasty pain and numbness keeps me awake right now. Hopefully not for long. The restless leg is bad as well. Any new ideas for that? I am taking Lunesta for sleep, Ultram for pain, which makes me loopy and tired and Klonapin for the Restless Leg. I don't think the Klonapin is really working, and I have heard it disrupts deep sleep after taking it for awhile? Anyone taking Klonapin? Cymbalta is supposed to be good. A friend is on it and is doing well with it. If you have the restless leg thing though, it may aggravate it. Tired of crying and the pain. Better days ahead I hope. Keep the faith!!

Oh, I forgot to mention the muscle spasms. Does anyone experience them? Any recommendations? Thanks!

celeste ,PA 3/2
goodevening to all my friends, it's 11:30 and I need to be at a dr's apt by 7:30, I won't sleep tonight and I a very bad morning I could't move my legs out of the bed thank god my husband had a late day. this only happend 5 or 6 times and it scares me. he has to scoppe me out of the bed and slowly we stand me up which takes me about 1/2 hr then once Iam standing Iam leaning on my dresser then i am on my owne I tell you I think My legs know when the snow and ice is comming, though i not looking forward to friday it's spoose to be real cold and windy yuk sometimes i hate PA well i might try and get some sleep what did you all give up for lent for thoes that do for those that dont and that do to god be with us all and may we wake with no pain.

Doris 3/3/06
Good Friday morning fibro friends!Starr,I was on Lexapro but my therapist recently put me on Cymbalta a few weeks ago. I think it is much better. I take 60 mg once daily. It helps my anxiety attacks and it helps with the pain. It seems to be doing good for me. Also I suffer the restless legs bad...in fact that is what woke me up so early this morning. My legs were really hurting. I do have cramps or spasms in my legs often too. I have not found a lot to do for that yet. I also take Clonazapam which is the same as Klonopin. I HAVE to stay on that or I really get messed up with my nerves and panic attacks. I take that twice a day. I tried cutting down and I almost had a nervous breakdown. I went back to 2 a day, trust me. I don't know if I will ever be able to get off that. This fibro plus the anxiety/depression along with all the other things I have really is something. I try to take my meds to keep myself leveled out daily just to be halfway "normal". We really do have to go thru alot to get thru everyday BUT we do it and survive. Just making the best of my situation is what I do day by day. I do what I can on my level and rest when I have to. I am also learning to say "no" when I really don't feel up to doing something. We know how we feel and what we can handle so that is how I manage my life. So take care today ladies and you too Richard ( I would never leave him out)! God bless you all and have a good weekend and I hope it's filled with little pain and lots of laughter. Sending many tender hugs all the way from North Carolina!

July, on March 3
STARR, good to see you! I’m glad I can’t smell you from here! LOL. Your magic towelette sounds like most of the topical stuff we use. Sometimes that stuff works for me though. I’m taking Cymbalta, just 20 mg., but I think it helps with depression a bit and I KNOW it helps with energy. I’d love to afford a higher dose. For those who can’t get scripts but respond well to Ibuprofin, OTC Motrin is pretty close to the same thing. Don’t they make an arthritis strength? If I find something in arthritis or migraine strength, that’s always the one I get.

JODIE, I have a friend who was given Klonapin for a sleep disorder. As far as I know, she’s been on that and Paxil for years, so I don’t think it disrupts. DORIS, if you have Fibro, you have it all over, so that’s probably what is going on with your legs. That’s where it’s really hitting me today too.

I read on another Fibro site about Ace bandages. There’s a woman there who wraps her ankles and wrists in Ace bandages when they’re bad. She says the support really helps with the pain, and that makes sense to me. I’m thinking about the knee and elbow braces, those stretchy tubes that hug kind of tight. That sounds really good to my joints right now! I’d like to get crafter’s gloves for my hands too. Guess I’ve had some bad days lately. But the support sounds helpful. What do you all think? HUGS to all.

Richard in Tucson March 03, 2006
Good Friday Morning to Everyone here, Can't believe it is March 3rd already;
Jaime: I am sorry to read that you are in so much pain, I hope that they get your diagnosis straitened out and get you on a treatment that will help you.
Starr in WV: Good to see you back posting again. I didn't get the towelettes, from what you described I feel fortunate that I didn't get them LOL. It was me that has been having luck with the CPAP. I am experiencing more restfull sleep, I still need to get up for the bathroom, but I keep my mask on, it has quick disconnect on the hose so I just go do what I have to and come back to bed and reconnect than it is back to sleep after a little tossing & turning to get comfortable.
Jodie: I get some musscle spasms, usuallly in my feet and calfs if I strech too much. My wife has a linement I rub on them from Mexico, seems to help somewhat.
celeste ,PA: I am sorry to read that you are having such a difficult time with your sleeping trouble & your having trouble getting out of bed. I don't usually give anything up for lent, maybe it will be sweets.
Doris: Thank you for remembering me and for the tender hugs.
July: You keep me smileling.

Yesterday I was so sick I thought I was going to die. I had this diarrhea and Nausea all day and I was so week I could not last all day at my Parent's day care, I was trying to paint these tall poles and I felt dizzy and very weak. I went home and went to bed after picking Nicole up from her school bus. I didn't feel like eating anything all day and night. The most strange thing that happened is my tounge got a black coating on it that has never happened before to me. I felt misserable all night, but I finnaly got enough sleep to feel better this morning.
I wish you all a wonderful Day, Evening and Weekend Gentle hugs from Richard in Tucson....

Sherri 3/2/06
Hello everyone. I haven't been here for quite a while! I've been working so much I'm too exhausted when I get home to do anything but get into a hot tub then bed. My husband still hasn't found any work, so I'll be working almost full time 'till he does. It is soooo hard for me. But, we do what we have to do don't we?! I know I don't have to go into the details of how terrible I feel physically, so I won't. But I know you all can relate and that's enough to help me through...
Richard the tounge thing was probably from taking Pepto Bismol or something like that for the IBS trouble you were having. Did you take anything like that? If not then I'm not sure what that would be from. Another mystery ailment to add to the long lists we have - huh?!
Great weekend to you all. I'm working at 8 am tomorrow 'til 1:00. Then I'll hopefully do NOTHING else all weekend... :-)
Bye for now!
<><

Starr 3/4/06
Yes - the smelly stuff is the 024. I haven't had enough nerve to try it again.

My CPAP has a quick disconnect on the mask also if I need to get up but I find I don't have too as often when I wear it. My problem is that my face gets hot so I sleep with a fan on also.

I have taken Lexiepro but it didn't seem to help me any. My sleep specialist gave it to me because he refuses to give any pain medication. I tried to tell him I don't do well on antidepressants but he insisted. It just put me in zombieland and didn't seem to help the pain. I also was on Provigil to help me stay awake but discontinued it because I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and it can cause a problem with that. I had to change MDs and fortuntely got a lovely lady who will give me my pain medication. I seem to do very well on hydrocodone (Vicodin or Lorcet) and when I need an extra boost I take the ibuprofen (which is what Motrin is). I take meds for my diabetes and cholesterol and I take Synthroid because I don't have a thyroid gland. The hydrocodone doesn't eliminate the pain, but it does take the edge off, more importantly, it seems to ease the fatigue more than anything. 20 years ago before I was diagnosed with fibro, I used to take Darvocet and it did the same thing. I think it is possible I may have had fibro most of my adult life.

I hope everyone has a gentle night.


Doris/NC 3/6/06
Hi everyone! Hope you all have a good weekend. Mine was good. Of course it wasn't painfree, BUT it never is. Watched a couple of movies over the weekend. "Flight Plan " with Jodie Foster is really good if you haven't seen it. Really keeps you in suspense. Also watched "Saw 2", now that's pretty gory and kinda sick! Good but in a weird sorta way. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach!!!

I am so glad that spring will be here soon. We want to do some yard work. Have some bushes we are gonna remove and replace with pretty white rock. These are next to the house. Also have some dead bushes out in the yard we are gonna pull up. Quite a few things we want to do outside. Just wanting for the weather to get right. Then we can do some things out there.

Saw both grandkids the weekend. Autumn is getting to be quite a talker. But then she will be 3 in September. She is such a cutie. She acts so grown sometimes. And little Jayden, well he is just a cooing and looking everywhere now. He has started smiling alot too. He is 2 months old now and still just weighs 8 lbs. 10 ozs. But he is growing everyday. He will soon be a big boy. Right now he is my little man. Jason and I bought him some little toys for newborns at Walmart this weekend and gave them to him when they came over.

I really think this Cymbalta 60 mgs. is helping me alot mentally and physically. It just doesn't help my legs,hips,or my arms and shoulders from hurting. It seems to be helping some other problems I was having though. At least it's good to get some relief from something. Well, I hope you all are feeling ok today. Especially those who have been in so much pain lately. I think about you and pray that your pain will let up. July, hope you are doing good also. How are things going in the new place? Have you gotten all settled in? Take care all and have a very blessed day,and Richard you take it easy now hon.....you just seem to be doing so much! Big tender hugs to you all.

Richard in Tucson March 06, 06
Good Monday Morning to you all; I hope you had a wonderful weekend, I for the most part did. I relaxed part of the day Saturday, Did some things that my wife wanted my help with that we had been putting of for too long. Friday night we took our two Daughters to the Movies, we saw Nanny Mcphee, boy was that a cute movie, realy good for kids. Yesterday I went with my Mom & Dad and our Son David to a Professional baseball game, we saw Our Az. Diamomndbacks Play the Chicago White Socks, this was a real treat, not because I like baseball, but because I never do things with my son, I think he liked that I brought him.
Sherri: To answer your question I did take Pepto Bismol tablets, several of them that day, for my soar stomach. I looked it up on the internet & found out it is common, and should go away in a short time. I will tell my doctor if it persists. I wish that was the only thing concerningme today. I have broken my temporary crown, I have my Engineer coming over to bring me my plans for the deck so I owe him $400.00 & my checking acct is messed up. I have not showered yet. The fatigue sure makes my life feel not worth living some days. I hope you all don't feel overwhelmed from reading my triffle problems, but who else can I turn too.
There is some good news, I want to share I started takeing something new for pain as well as other symptoms. The new treatmnet is Called XANGO It is Mangosteen juice, I have been taking two ounces is the morning & two ounces in the evening before meals, and it seems to be making a difference in how I feel. You can look it up @ the fallowing link (htttp://www.lovemangosteen.net/sleep.html) It is not cheep, but worth the investment. It is scientifically proven to reduce inflamation, with no know side effects, among many other things, has been successful at curing some cancers.
Starr: My problem with the CPAP is that the mak makes my nose itch & It makes me sweat too much. I have had the best luck with my respironics gelmask, none of them are comfortable though, I keep trying. Doris: That Movie Fight Plan was a very good one, I was so on the edge of my seat the whole time. I am not sure it is good for our fibro anxioty, but still a good movie. I mam so glad to read you are enjoying your grandkids. Thank you again for your understanding me and your concern, I always do too much, but if I let things accumulate it is worse, so I do somethings each day and check them off my list. I have missed you all so much over the weekend. I have to go now but know that I am praying for you all I wish you the most wonderful painfree week. Gentle Hugs from Richard in Tucson...

Richard in Tucson March 06, 06
Good Monday Morning to you all; I hope you had a wonderful weekend, I for the most part did. I relaxed part of the day Saturday, Did some things that my wife wanted my help with that we had been putting of for too long. Friday night we took our two Daughters to the Movies, we saw Nanny Mcphee, boy was that a cute movie, realy good for kids. Yesterday I went with my Mom & Dad and our Son David to a Professional baseball game, we saw Our Az. Diamomndbacks Play the Chicago White Socks, this was a real treat, not because I like baseball, but because I never do things with my son, I think he liked that I brought him.
Sherri: To answer your question I did take Pepto Bismol tablets, several of them that day, for my soar stomach. I looked it up on the internet & found out it is common, and should go away in a short time. I will tell my doctor if it persists. I wish that was the only thing concerningme today. I have broken my temporary crown, I have my Engineer coming over to bring me my plans for the deck so I owe him $400.00 & my checking acct is messed up. I have not showered yet. The fatigue sure makes my life feel not worth living some days. I hope you all don't feel overwhelmed from reading my triffle problems, but who else can I turn too.
There is some good news, I want to share I started takeing something new for pain as well as other symptoms. The new treatmnet is Called XANGO It is Mangosteen juice, I have been taking two ounces is the morning & two ounces in the evening before meals, and it seems to be making a difference in how I feel. You can look it up @ the fallowing link (htttp://www.lovemangosteen.net/sleep.html) It is not cheep, but worth the investment. It is scientifically proven to reduce inflamation, with no know side effects, among many other things, has been successful at curing some cancers.
Starr: My problem with the CPAP is that the mak makes my nose itch & It makes me sweat too much. I have had the best luck with my respironics gelmask, none of them are comfortable though, I keep trying. Doris: That Movie Fight Plan was a very good one, I was so on the edge of my seat the whole time. I am not sure it is good for our fibro anxioty, but still a good movie. I mam so glad to read you are enjoying your grandkids. Thank you again for your understanding me and your concern, I always do too much, but if I let things accumulate it is worse, so I do somethings each day and check them off my list. I have missed you all so much over the weekend. I have to go now but know that I am praying for you all I wish you the most wonderful painfree week. Gentle Hugs from Richard in Tucson...

Richard in Tucson March 06
Hi all sorry I accidently posted the same thing twice this morning, I don't even know how this happened.
I made it through another Monday. I have my plans in hand for my deck tomorrow I will take them to the County. I hope you all are OK, talk to you soon from Richard in Tucson...

renee tuesday march 7 06

Richard in Tucson March 07, 2006
Hi everyone; hope you all are doing better today. I came accross a web sight that explains How CFS is related to the Hypothalamic-Pituitary Adrenal (HPA) Axis, it is as fallows (http://www.cfshub.com/hpaaxis.html) I am sure it relates to Fibro as well, any way I thought this might be of interest to someone here. Have a great day Richard in Tucson...

Kaysee 3/7
Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a long time. I was taking care of my ill father. He died nine days ago. He passed in his sleep and for that I am grateful.

We had the services and funeral last Monday and it was lovely.

This is going to sound strange -- but I am so grateful for all that I could give up to the very end. I kept giving even though my pain level was rising. I have no regrets and am left with love. I thank those of you on this site who supported me through this difficult time. Your words of inspiration kept me going strong and I was able to keep giving.

So, my FMS is screaming and I hurt like anything. I am in mourning and miss my father terribly. I cry a lot and hug his American funeral flag. I talk to him all the time. I hope everyone here is well.

packrat/mi 03/08/06
Hi! I am new to this site and would like to know if there is anyone that can tell me how to manage my fibro. I was diagnosed two years ago and it has been a struggle. I recently lost my job due to my position being eliminated. To be honest, I am really glad this happened because it was a real struggle to continue to go to work. I was so fatigued and stressed out I was really close to collapsing. Now the real dilemma is that I don't want to go back to work but because I continued to work full time before I became unemployed I don't see how I can be considered "disabled". I am single and do not have any other income other than unemployment right at the moment. Also, I am about to lose my medical coverage due to the termination agreement that I had with my former employer. I really feel like I am between a rock and hard place right now. Are there any words of advice?

Doris 3/8/06
Good morning all. Kaysee,I am sorry honey to hear your sad news. I lost my dad in 2002 and I miss him today as much as ever. I am glad your dad went easy and for that hopefully you can find some small comfort. There are no words to ease your pain I know but just know that I have been there and I do understand how you feel. Only time will ease your sorrow but he will always be with you in your heart and in your memories. Just find strength in knowing you had him with you as long as you did and that he left quietly and easy. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Packrat,welcome to the Wall. I myself had to quit work in 2002 due to my fibro and all my other problems but fortunately I had a b/f who had a place for me to stay. I applied for disability and I was denied twice. It's been 3 1/2 years and I go for my hearing next month and I am hoping to win my disability then. So I have had no income all that time. Thank God for my good b/f who has stood beside me all the way. So sometimes it takes awhile to get it but them some people get it right up front. Good luck to you in whatever you have to do. Please feel free to join us often here on the Wall.

Everyone else,have a great day and take care. By the way, isn't it about time for a wall trim? Just curious!!!! Not trying to make the boss ladies mad!!! Tender hugs to everyone today.

Sarah NY- March 08, 2006
Hello, I know I may seem a stranger to most of you by now, but I used to come here quite often. I have a dilemna and could think of no better place to come to than here. I have not traveled much in my life. For years I have wanted to go to El Salvador in Central America. Not everyone's cup of tea I know, but it is mine. I have a chance to go in July for 2 weeks. Here are my fears: (I promise I will try to keep this short)1.) I have to save at least half the money,($1000.)and scraping around for more plus the Group's fundraiser, I will probably make it. I live on Disability and no partner for extra income. 2.)I will have to and want to help set up this fundraiser.(this will take lots of energy). I had a very bad winter, health wise, and am still recovering. Basically I had very bad flu and tremendous muscle pain. My energy supply is low. 3.) This will be not the easiest kind of trip. We have to bring our own water, be extra careful about what we eat, rainy season, so must cover ourselves in DEET, plus mosquito netting at night. We can return to a decent hotel in the evening. However, this does not mean, hot showers for all and other nice things. There will be a lot of walking in rough country. This will be an Art Delegation. I used to be an actress. We have all given up so many dreams. It is breaking my heart to think I have to do it again. Heat and humidity are killers for me. I drink tons of water every day. Without it, I go into terrible dehydration. There are also a slew of shots I'll need soon. Any soothing advice? Thank you.

Jaime 3-8-06
Kaysee, I am so sorry to hear that your dad has passed. I send you big hugs, and lots of love.

Went to a spine specialist to see if he could help with the severe back pain. He then said that he couldn't help me after he asked if I had been assaulted. He then told me that I have somatization disorder. After researching the disorder I got so mad. I went to call the doctor back to scream at him that I am not crazy. I threw the phone across the room, and then just started crying. I then remembered everything that happened in the first sexual assault. Now everytime I go to sleep I see it all happening hearing all the nasty things he said to me. I don't want to sleep, I can't sleep. I wake up screaming. The first assault happened when I was 15, the second shortly after I turned 16. I am so mad at myself for staying with him, and mad at him for what he did to me. Can't even stand to go to the firehouse since he is with the firecompany too.

Have any of you been through something like this, and how did you get through it so you could sleep?

Richard in Tucson March 08, 06
Good Wed. Morning to you all; I am glad to see that some people are posting here. I want to welcome the Newbies, with open arms.
Please know that if I don't seem to have all the answers it's because I don't. If I don't help someone it is because I am drained my self and having a difficult time in my own life. I feel all of your anguish suffering & pain, in a very similar way.
Kaysee: I am sorry to here of your Father Passing on, I know that this must have been real hard on you. You did your best to be by his side until his time to part. You are a very good person, and strong too I might add. You need your time to mourn, we are here for you here @ the Wall. I pray that the lord will comfort you and lessen your pain at this difficult time in your young life. You take care of yourself & keep co,ming back here.
Packrat/mi: The best advice I can give you is to work on changing your way of being stressed out to giving youir self calming thoughts, stress will only make things worse. My position was eliminated as well in my job also, about the time I decided to file for the second time for Disability. I was an aircraft Mechanic for more than 17 years when I tried other related jobs, that because of this fatiging illness I could not do either. I filed. fortunately I had a great supportive Dr. that helped me through the process, but I did finnaly win my Disability Don't give up,figure out your priorities and stand up for what you deserve.
Sarah NY:Soothing advice not really, If this is your desire you need to go for it. Not my cup of tea as you put it lol. If you think due to your health condition you will not be able to handle the conditions, don't do it you are more suseptable to getting a disease from the shots and also from the mosquitos. This is a dfficult delema, but ultimately your decision. I hope you chose the right decision for your health and wellbeing.

I must go and get my work done on my new deck before the rain starts I hope you all have a wonderful day. Gentle Hugs, Love Richard in Tucson...

packrat/mi 03/08/06
Hello everyone. Thank you for your kind words of advice. I was really having a hard time when I wrote the last message. I don't think I indicated it was at 2:00 in the morning. I was having one of my sleepless nights and just wanted to reach out to others who might have understood my pain...both physical and mental. I had went grocery shopping yesterday and it wore me out. I had muscle cramps, walking legs and general fatigue. I hate when that happens because I can't do anything until I sleep for a while. But then, I can't sleep at night. What a vicious cycle it can be at times. I don't want to be a complainer all the time but sometimes it just seems too much to live with. In addition to Fibro I also have chronic asthma and depression. My family tries to understand but mostly they are too busy with their own lives to help much. After reading some of your postings I see that you are a very supportive group. I think I need to have the knowledge that I have somewhere to go to blow off steam. RICHARD: thanks for the words of encouragement. I have been learning to pick my battles and let other things go. It sounds like you are managing your fibro pretty well. Hey, everyone, I don't know if it would help but I have a prescription called Feldene that seems to help when my muscles are hurting. My doctor had prescribed it at the time that I had a pulled muscle in my shoulder and we discovered that it helped my fibro. Something to check out. Again, thanks for the shoulder.

Richard in Tucson March 09, 2006
Good Morning Everyone; I hope you all are experiencing a better day.
Packrat: I am sure you have prettier name for real. I am glad that my words are encouragement to you. I am managing some things well, but I have a long way to go. You have come to the right place and people will be very understanding here. That is why I keep coming back. I have heard of Feldene before, is it addictive? My friend took it for hand pain, I thought he told me it is for gout or something.
This morning I go for my Heart stress test. I have to fast two hours prior. I had a hard time making my families Breakfast and not eating myself. The hardest thing I have to deal with is I plan several things to get done and I'm lucky if I get one of them accomplished. I need to call my tax lady today & make an appointment for her to do my taxes, but I have to find her number, and I still am not ready, but time keeps ticking I only have a month. I wish you all the best day ever, Gentle Hugs Richard in Tucson...

Kaysee 3/9
Jamie -- I had a great reaction to your posting. On the subject of "calming" myself -- or getting to sleep -- I've found something that works well. I have learned meditation, biofeedback and self hypnosis. A spinal rehab doctor was the first to suggest this approach to living with chronic pain. After referring me, I had eight weeks worth of appointments with a therapist who taught me biofeedback. I meet with other pain specialists who taught me the self hypnosis and meditation.

I use these three great tools for everything -- most especially, getting to sleep. If I have a bad dream (I've had some I've awakened crying and screaming), I use my biofeedback/meditation/self hypnosis to calm myself.

I think what I learned goes beyond buying a tape with nature sounds. Because I've learned this, I can take just about any bad moment and turn it around within 20 to 30 minutes. I've been able to take a bad pain moment and squash it. There are times when I've been hysterical and crying -- and I can calm myself.

I haven't heard of Somatization disorder and I looked it up before posting. In the end, I don't know if that one diagnoses matters. I'd say it's how you responded that's important. I hope you find something that works -- and you're in my prayers.

carrie-3/9/06
kaysee-any tips with the biofeedback? i don't know of anyone around me who does this. i would love to practice this.